


Hiding from the world

by secrets_i_cant_reveal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bedroom Sex, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, M/M, Making Love, Top Dean, gentle lovemaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 20:51:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3182696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secrets_i_cant_reveal/pseuds/secrets_i_cant_reveal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wants to tell. Dean wants to hide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiding from the world

   They didn't need the judgement. They didn't need the questions. Often, they didn't need anybody but each other.

   Which is why Dean had refrained from telling Sam. Either Sam would have been a huge puppy about it, and gone around throwing confetti or something, but a tiny part of Dean fears that may not be his reaction. What if he got angry, or worse, _disgusted_? Disgusted, that Dean now spent his nights secretly with a man, made excuses about Sam's health or about training Cas to take Cas on hunts along with him, just so they could kiss in motel rooms and Dean could feed him the best pie or burger a diner had to offer.

   Dean's eyes opened as Castiel stole quietly into his room, softly shutting the door behind him. He was dressed plainly in chequered pajamas and a grey T-shirt, but, as was often the case these days, Dean couldn't take his eyes off of him.

   Castiel was a man, or as much man as he could be, given that he was a genderless angel in a male body (which Dean did not like to dwell on), but Dean had begun to notice his beauty was almost feminine. He had grace, and no, not the angelic grace which burned through him, his fuel and power, but the physical grace in the way his hands moved over the pages of a book, or the way he turned his head only slightly to hear Dean better, or when he stretched languidly after a rough hunt. This observation was only intensified after he kissed Cas, after they made love for the first time, that Castiel was not beautiful, he was _breathtaking._ When he rolled over on his back, rose on his knees, reached for Dean with trembling hands, and arched like a bow when caressed, Dean believed, with a faith like never before, in the existence of God.

   Dean sat up as Castiel perched beside him on the crinkled sheets, immediately drawing him into his arms. This was another thing they did these days. To Dean it felt as if Cas was trying to make up for lost time, for all the times they barely touched, faces hovering close as they never kissed. The moment Sam disappeared to go to the library or a place with better wi-fi, Castiel's demeanour changed. It wasn't that he jumped Dean's bones, but he stopped holding back. If he wanted to hold Dean's hand, he did. If he wanted to run his hands through his hair, he did. If he wanted to taste the whiskey directly from Dean's tongue, he just _did._

   "Your brother was up for a long time reading today", Castiel whispered, as Dean lowered themselves into the bed. "I thought he would never fall asleep."

   "Did he finally?" Dean asked, drawing the covers over them. He took Castiel's hand in his.

   "Yes", Castiel replied, inching closer. He pressed his face into the curve of Dean's neck, breathing deeply. "I'm tired of hiding", Castiel mumbled, and Dean shuddered to feel his lips move against his neck. Castiel looked up at him, boring straight into his eyes. He looked guilty yet wanting at the same time. "When we pretend that we're just comrades, or when Sam thinks you were out with a woman and makes jokes about it, it breaks me. It makes me feel as if our time alone is just an illusion, like a Djinn's world." He turned away from Dean, drawing the covers more tightly around himself. Dean was grieved. He knew Castiel had felt hurt about the secrecy, but Cas had assured that he understood the reason. Humans hid relationships all the time, but to expect Castiel to just conform to the same was not right. Castiel understood, of course he did, but that didn't mean his heart broke any less.

  Castiel had started talking again, in a quiter voice. "I'm sorry Dean, I shouldn't bother you with this. I know we have to hide from Sam, tell him when we're ready, wait for the right time, it's just, its difficult." He swallowed tightly, his back turned to Dean. "I will put no pressure. Whenever you're ready."

  He startled when Dean's arms wound around him, warm and comforting. Dean buried his face in Cas' hair. "I'm sorry Cas", he whispered, pressing kisses to his hair. "I knew how you felt about all this, yet I forced you to keep our relationship a secret. We'll tell Sam. Tomorrow, if you want. Anything for you, love."

   Castiel turned around in his arms and clasped his hands aorund his neck, pressing small kisses to his face. "Dean, you don't have to..."

   "Trust me, I want to. He's my brother. He deserves to know. And we can't control how he reacts. It's up to him. I'm done hiding, Cas", Dean whispered, staring at Cas intently. "I love you", he breathed.

   Castiel pressed his lips against Dean's, who opened his mouth under his. "I love you too, Dean. I love you so much", he mumbled, over and over again as their lips met. He shuddered, pressing himself fully against Dean, hitching his thigh up across Dean's leg. "Make love to me, Dean. It's been so long", he said, kissing his cheeks now.

   Despite Cas' words sending heat through him, Dean chuckled. "It's been five days, Cas", he said, disentangling from Cas just enough to pull his shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside.

   "Feels like an eternity", Castiel said matter-of-factly, causing Dean's heart to clench. Never had he met someone who loved him so dearly, needed him like a drug, clung to him so desperately, who proclaimed his love for him so unabashedly.

   Dean pulled off his own shirt, and pushed Cas gently on his back. "I need you", he whispered into Cas' ear, licking and biting down his neck. Castiel arched beautifully, fingertips pressed tight against his back. It was times like this, when Dean couldn't see all of Cas, that he wished he could tape them, tape all of Castiel's expressions, his reactions, how he fell apart under Dean.

   "Oh Dean", he moaned, trying to keep his voice low, and failing for most part, as Dean sucked a nipple. His hips bucked up as Dean repeated the same to the other nipple, hard in his pajamas against Dean's stomach. Reaching down, Dean quickly pulled Cas' and then his own pajama bottoms and boxers away, leaving them naked in minutes. Dean sat back to watch his lover in all his naked glory; flushed from head-to-toe, hair mussed, licking his lips as he took in Dean watching him like that.

   "Why are you looking at me like that?" Castiel asked quietly.

   "I have never seen anyone so beautiful", Dean replied honestly, because he may be a hunter, a killer, but for this angel, he was just a romantic sap. "What do you want, Cas? Ask anything of me."

   Castiel turned his head away for a moment but when he looked back at Dean, his eyes were sure and deep. "In me, Dean. i want you inside of me."

   Dean didn't refuse him. He never did. Opening up his drawer where he kept the lube, he coated his fingers as Cas watched breathlessly, his hands skittish against the pillows. He moaned when Dean pushed one in, closing his eyes against the overwhelming pleasure. "Yes, please, yes", he moaned thoughtlessly.

   Soon, one finger turned to three, and Castiel, writhing and moaning, reached for Dean and pulled him flush against his chest. "It's enough Dean, I'm ready. Please. Now."

   Dean knelt between his legs, caressing his thighs to soothe him as he lined up with his hole, slicking himself up liberally. He pushed in gently, inch by hot inch, as Castiel gasped soundlessly and grabbed the sheets and twisted, untucking them. His eyes remained open, focused on Dean, as Dean bottomed out. He gave a little wince, unnoticeable to most, but Dean had long since become adept at reading Cas.

   "Does it hurt?" he whispered hoarsely, stopping himself from thrusting, caressing Cas' hips.

   "A little", Cas replied honestly.

   Dean kissed him deep, and long, slowly stroking Cas' hot flesh, still inside Cas. Cas shifted till he felt better, and wordlessly wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, urging him to move.

   Dean's hand interlocked with Cas almost involuntarily as he begam thrusting, slow and deep. He wanted it to last, stretching out in the best possible way, where the ultimate goal wasn't to orgasm but to feel one another, alive after countless deaths, together after so many hurdles, sharing all the love they had within themselves, pooled in the space between their bodies. Dean kissed Cas again and again, licked his sweat from his temples, as Castiel stroked his anti-possession tattoo, eyes zeroed on Dean as he began to lose control. The thrusts grew erratic, as Cas jerked his hips and threw his head back and moaned, nonsense words falling from his lips. Everything sped up, till at last, they reached climax together as their grasp tightened on each other's hands, holding on for long minutes as the high cascaded through them.

   Dean fell against him and rolled aside, cleaning them both as best as he could given his boneless limbs and foggy brain, as Castiel smoothed the sheets, and pulled the covers over them both.

   "FIrst thing tomorrow", Dean said, a lilt of happiness in his voice, as he pulled a sated Castiel to his chest, "we tell Sam."

   

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! This my very first posted pic. All comments are welcome, as are prompts. Also, i don't understand fanfic terms very well yet, so be patient with me. This one is unbetaed.


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